K, so normally I write about all the beautiful, stylish, gorgeous things we all can’t afford, as well as the ones we can (thank you online sample sales!), however, I could not pass up the opportunity to share with the world the wonders that are Janice and Holly. Anyone remember that show on the BBC, Absolutely Fabulous? This is the senior version!
Recently, I went on a business trip to Branson, Missouri. What’s in Branson, you ask? Well, not much, save the world headquarters of Bass Pro Shops and a bunch of old-timers hanging on their fame (I’m looking at you, Presley’s Country Jubilee). Rumor has it that they bring in residents of old folk’s homes by the busloads. Don’t get me wrong, the landscape is absolutely beautiful; it’s just not a metropolitan style mecca. Just saying.
Anyway, as I’m flying out, these two women are in front of me in the security line, and they were an absolute trip. Holly is wearing her velour jumpsuit with the world “GLAM” bedazzled to the back, with BIG red curly hair and is making a hullabaloo because her white long-haired dog, Precious, has to get out of the carrier. Janice is in her 60’s and cannot figure out why the security thing keeps beeping at her, despite her huge belt buckle, sequin fanny pack, Christmas ornament earrings, PLEATHER PANTS underneath a skirt, red boots, platinum bun, and oh by the way, we learn she has a steel rod in her back. I’m not kidding; it seriously took them 45 minutes to get through security in an airport that literally had four gates. Bring on the LOLs.
As luck would have it, I’m seated directly beside them on the plane, and the whole way I hear about how they were both stewardesses back in their day, how wonderful Precious is to travel with (her seat mate didn’t seem to agree, as he somehow found an open seat in the back of the plane), and how Janice and Holly are going to San Antonio to see the sights. San Antonio, you’ve been warned.
I hope I’m still out on the town with my girls when I’m that age! These ladies were quite a pair, and it made me think about all the crazy fashion choices we’ve all made and regretted. Sure, we shudder at the acid-wash jeans and neon accessories of our youth now, but we were just kids, it was 80’s, that was Mom’s fault, right? But what happens when you get older- are the Christmas sweaters and Mom jeans inevitable? Do we just default to the Sag Harbor section at JC Penny’s, pull our pants up to our armpits and give up? Nay, I say, rage, RAGE against the dying of the style!
Speaking of questionable choices: a couple of years ago, I found a legit Louis Vuitton fanny pack in a vintage store in San Francisco, and I snapped it up for a mere $30. I was envisioning myself as Carrie Bradshaw, the way she does her ironic little 80’s throwback accessories, but still looks totally chic. I’ve yet to rock it. Which brings me to my last and final question: is it ever really OK to sport a fanny pack?
